Damn it all
by twitchywolfie
Summary: I felt this pain its not bleeding but it hurts..why? Takara thinks about love and reflects on other things than that. Give this one a chance I'm new here. Thanks.
1. Love

Alright... so This is my first attempt at Blue Exorcist fic. By seeing the anime and checking out some Japanese eps, I found myself obsessed with the character of Nemu(Takara). He's just beautifully dark and misunderstood sometimes.

Just a little something for my favorite character so sad how they don't show him often and

I think I'll just call this a sad oneshot maybe more in the future sorry if it's bad I'm not used to writing. just let me know what you think I

was feeling pretty down so I decided to write this story well enough of my rambling enjoy the story thing. Cut me slack wolfies first story.

**The following isn't part of the story but it kinda set the mood for me**

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"I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies."-

Pietro Aretino

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**Love.**

My heart, it burns. My mind, it burns. Here to love, there to love.

I've said it-I've said**,** **"I love you"**- and I've lied. I do not love. I can't.

**Not now.**

Though I have come close to that glorious emotion.

**But not now.**

I want to, but _they _stand in the way. _Three_ things are in the way.

**Obsession-** So dark, so consuming, and fear it brings forth. **Doubt-** Why me? _It is a lie._ Open your eyes, mind! Open your eyes, and guard your heart. Guard your heart again, again. **Hate- **So close to love. What separates the two? What is the difference, tell me! I hate because I fear, I fear because I **doubt**. I hate to fear because my own inadequacy as an emotional creature.

I feel- I feel _so much-_ but I can't show it. I know that I can never show it.

I fear because I long for love and acceptance and I am afraid of the possibility of losing something I won't ever have. And in inaction I have to live all my fears and miss the chance of getting the very thing that motivates me to act the way I do.

**Damn life!**

**Damn love!**

Forever the pain. Forever the hope of something better than this. Forever the dreams, the confusion, and the nightmares with bottled emotion. This Forever Eternity.

**Damn it all...**

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**Did ya like it let me know what you think.I'm new so no flames I think *sigh* wolfie out.**


	2. Alive

I'd like to thank those to who reviewed my story

Dansain Neko (sorry if I misspelled that)

Link Fangirl01

I really apreciate your reviews i decided that i was going to make this not really a story but tidbits of pieces of my writing

So these chapters will probably be short well wolfie out.

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**I don't want to die.**

I really do not want to die like this. I've got nothing to lose no one cares. Why I still do not understand.

The further I go I just feel like going home but I have no home but this state I'm in to call home.

**So why don't I want to die?**

I was wrong all along, all along my trust I put in this, this demon. Nothing can save me it's too late I can see the light.

**My lid's slowly lift I see this blinding light ,but this isn't heaven.**

**This isn't hell…**

I see a man towering above me my eyes quiver for a second while dimly adjusting to light. His gaze is wronged a frightened look comes of him, as he pulls out a staff and fearfully backs up.

My name is screeched by someone. It hurts my ears.

**NO!**

What is this pain who is this man?

I see blood all over my hands.

**Yes I remember this man it's all coming back to me I know this man, **_**shima ,renzou.**_

No I am not dead

**Not in hell**

**Nowhere near heaven **

No I am _**Alive.**_


	3. Blood

Woop woop wolfie got to write a story woop im on a roll lol. Don't you sometimes feel bad because you always get that feeling like you suck. Yeah that whats going on right now. Well enough of my rambling enjoy this other tidbit of my story.

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**There's blood on my hands.**

I'm only evil when I need to be. Though you did this so easily, I tried to listen to your reasoning. I treated you equally.

No but you waited plotting and deceiving me. You went behind me secretly. You broke me every piece of me.

**I had nothing to give.**

So I gave you my life. You never wanted to see me alive. That is why you gave me your knife.

I didn't hear you as you _murdered_ my mother, so I guess you killed me twice.

**You knew that i had to die. So you can finally sleep.**

I can see blood all over your knife. You deserve it and earned it yourself.

Only its a matter of time before you burn in _hell._

**What is it all worth. You won't be able to stand.**

You hold no remorse till you found out what I am. You are breathing slowly are you scared dear _I hope not my friend._

Oh now I see._** There's blood on my hands**_

**I see blood on my hands as I lay here but it is not your blood.**

**No…**

**It is my blood.**


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